Disclaimer: This story is not about a redhead or Australia; it is simply a story worth telling. The information comes from direct quotes from both parties who have given their mutual consent to its disclosure. The author’s sarcasm and tone do not reflect her true opinion of the people and institutions here discussed. (This is for the procrastinating, the bored, and those related to or adopted by the Ford family.)
Amy, Baylor freshman, has recently acquired hundreds of new “sisters” (in order to fill the void left by her blood sister’s move to Australia). As part of her induction into this prestigious social institution, Amy was required to attend a formal dance. After a few awkward moments and extra helpings in the Penland Cafeteria, Amy managed to secure a date with a lovely boy she knew from class. (This boy, Date, will remain unnamed.)
One Sunday evening Walt called Amy’s mobile. Alice answered and said, “Amy is in the library with some boy.” Thinking quickly, Walt asked Alice to search Amy’s phone for this Date’s number. She is successful and minutes later, Walt calls Date’s mobile.
“Well, he doesn't answer,” says Walt, “and I leave a message in my gruffest voice saying something like, ‘This is Amy's brother. I understand y'all are in the library doing some research. Please have her give me a call when you get this message.’”
Later, Date calls Walt back. “Uh hello, did you call?” Date asks.
“I tell him who I am and that I understand that he is going with my sister to formal,” says Walt. “I ask him about his research and the class and the paper and he explains everything in several stuttering sentences. The he apologizes for not answering the phone the first time I called, and says he's looking forward to formal.”
Walt hangs up the phone. Meanwhile, Alice has told Amy that Walt called to discuss mundane things, and Amy returns Walt’s call. They discuss these mundane things and Walt instructs Alice not to tell Amy or Date about getting the number from Amy’s mobile.
“Date’s coming over here right now,” Alice whispers, and Walt hangs up.
Apparently, Date returns to where Alice and Amy are seated in the library and tells them about his conversation with Walt. Amy immediately calls Walt back.
In the exasperated voice we know so well, Amy says, “"Walt Ford, What did you do?!" Date was “caught off guard,” she says.
“I feel like such a stud,” Walt comments.
Now, Amy worries that Date “thinks she’s in love with him or that the formal is an actual date now.” (What did Date think the formal was before?) But Walt comforts her saying, “He’s probably just sure that you have somebody who cares very much about you and who’s looking out for you.”
“You’re lucky that I didn't show up at the library looking for you both,” he adds.
Following this incident, Walt accused Amy of using this loving display of brotherly affection as a reason to change the voicemail message on her mobile. Previously, her voicemail message was Walt’s voice saying, “This is my little sister’s cell phone. Leave her a message!” Now, it’s her own voice.
“Apparently, she wasn't getting any guys to leave messages,” says Walt.
Amy responded to this accusation with two points. “Point 1: Boys don't call me,” she says. “Point 2: Walt's voice sounded kind of funny on that message, and so out of respect to his coolness (that was somewhat in question due to the voicemail) and because that has been on there for 3 years now, I decided it was time for a change.”
Although she claims there is little hope for a change in the number of male voices in her inbox, Walt shows more faith.
“I kindly offered to record another outgoing message when her voicemail box overflows from loser guys calling her,” he said.
(Sidenote: please notice how this beautifully portrays our roles as siblings- Amy, the baby/trouble maker, Walt, the protective older brother, and Michelle, the mediator.)
# posted by Michelle : 12:13 PM
: 12:31 PM
