Muffy Toe

-I have a love/hate relationship with text messaging.

-Out of tune cellos hurt my heart more deeply than any other instrument and I don't know why. But in tune cellos might be more beautiful than any other in tune instrument.

-Now till the end of the semester is crunch time. That's a long crunch time that I'm not too happy about.

-I think attending Ecclesia is bad for me because I come away with absolutely no interest in grad school, wanting only to move to Asia or South America to teach English and love people and do things that really matter.

-Lately I've been thinking a lot about simplicity and balance. It's funny how I relate everything in my life to music or God. Today I heard Mike O'Conner's "Appalachian Waltz" performed and the simplicity of the harmonies were so refreshing. But if I hadn't been tied up in Mendellsohn and Barber earlier that afternoon, they might have seemed dry. Similarly, the grace of God and the wrath of God are such simple concepts, really. But without the counterbalanace of each, salvation would not seem so sweet. I need more simplicity and balance in every area of my life. So cheesy, yet so true.

-I love people who talk to me and sit by me and even love me when I'm having a long-sleeve t-shirt/jeans/face-breaking-out/tired eyes/ugly day.

-When I'm an old lady and useless to the world, I want to audit political science and music history classes so I know what's going on in the world I'm in (politics, society) and so I stay in touch with the world I love (music).

-I've slowly been realizing that I really WILL miss studying music. I'm picky about "classical" music, no doubt. I'm really not a "high brow", perhaps not even a "true" musician because I don't enjoy a lot of it either because I don't know enough about it or it's simply "not me" (I can't relate to it). Most Beethoven for example is way too moody and sarcastic for me, but I do love his Ninth Symphony which seems like one of the most beautiful and profound commentaries on the world as this whole unit, both spiritual and real. I love Stravinsky because his music celebrates life and the realness of life, but I find his contemporary Arnold Schoenberg much too distant and harsh. I'll confess I'm not a huge Mozart fan, but I'm shameless about romantic Tchaikovsky whose guts simply gush onto the manuscript paper and I'm die-hard about Bach, too (is there anything that is more soul-revealing than his unaccompanied instrumental pieces, or more worshipful than his chorales?) Mahler will always be a favorite because unlike Brahms whose music comments on "large" and profound thoughts, when you listen to Mahler its like his nose is almost touching your nose. He's so personal, just whispering to you and dropping you into folds of colors. Debussy, too, is healthy for my heart because he's all about the moment. This one simple moment. No artificial development, no form or system; just this one note, this one line, this one rush of sound- right here, right now. This is the world I'll miss being a part of.

And this is my dorky side that most of you don't know or haven't seen before.